


Tower of Tedium

by Grenegome



Category: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Kink Meme, Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-10
Updated: 2012-04-10
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grenegome/pseuds/Grenegome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry gets caught up in a fairy tale predicament, and Murphy is the most jaded rescuing prince ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tower of Tedium

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Dresden Files Kink Meme.
> 
> Warnings for curse breaking made them kiss.

“I am Karrin, daughter of Murphy, come to save the maiden from the tower.”

I leapt out of bed, kicking off silk sheets in my race to the window. There she was, standing on the end of the bridge at the foot of the castle. Karrin Murphy.

“I’m not a maiden!” I yelled, waving hello.

Murph pushed back the visor on her motorcycle helmet and glared up at me. “I, Karrin, have come to speak the words that must be spoken! Do _not_ fuck with the script, Dresden.”

Oops. Murphy didn’t look delighted to see me. In fact, she looked kind of like she’d had a rough morning; her kevlar vest sported the latest in vicious claw marks, her extendable baton bent in the middle like an Acme frying pan around a skull, and she had mud all the way up to her knees. I gave her a thumbs up.

Murphy entered the courtyard, making straight for the shield that hung from the tree in the centre. She hit it with her baton, three times, like it had offended her. “I challenge thee in the name of Chicago!” she yelled. “I challenge thee for the maiden’s hand! I challenge thee and will not... ” Murphy paused, and then dragged a tattered sheet of paper out from beneath her vest “...yield! Come and look upon thee death!”

“Thy!” I corrected.

“ _Thy_ death! ...Dresden. Unless you plan on doing something useful like letting down your long hair, shut up.”

“I _did_ try to make a rope out of bed sheets,” I said. My rope hadn’t been anywhere near long enough, but I thought it was worth mentioning. It’s not like I’d spent the whole week kicking back, relaxing, and waiting for rescue. Just the last couple of days.

A roar sounded through the courtyard. The stones beneath my feet shook.

“Murph! Maybe you could come back later? Quietly?”

“I fear thee not, vile creature,” she said, rolling her eyes at me so hard I thought she might strain something.

“Well you should!” I said, and the beast leapt into the courtyard. It looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a kangaroo, hopping along on big, furry, back legs bulging with muscle. Its forearms were sharp and clawed, and its face was a mess of teeth and fiery eyes.

The beast roared again, and lunged forward.

Murphy pepper sprayed it in the face.

 

Ten minutes later, the beast was cowering under the bridge, panting its distress, and Murphy was staggering around the courtyard in a lap of victory, pausing to whack the occasional stone with her baton. I couldn’t work out any pattern, but she gestured at me quite emphatically with said baton when I tried to ask. Eventually, she spiralled back around to the tree, leant back against it, and slid down to the ground.

“Harry,” she looked up at my window. “I don’t suppose you can magic yourself down from there now?”

I waved at her, showing off the delicate, bejewelled, _really fucking irritating_ silver thorn manacles locked around my wrists. “Not until these come off.”

She huffed, tipped her head back to look at the sky. “I, Murphy, have crossed the forest of everlasting night. Traversed the bridge of sorrows. Vanquished the Beat of Quel. Open up oh ye doors, that the victorious prince may come in.” Below me, I heard the door of the tower swing open. “Thank fuck. Stay right there, Dresden. I’ve got three hundred and thirty three stairs to ascend.”

She wasn’t long, but I was standing right by the locked door to my chamber, practically vibrating with the need to get the hell out of there by the time I heard Murphy’s baton against the wood. One, two, three.

It swung open. “Murphy!” I looked at the expression on her face, and squashed the urge to hug her. “Nice footwork with the kangasaurus.”

“I, Karrin, lay claim to my prize. Knees, Dresden.”

“...what?”

“I have to kiss you to get those bracelets off, and I’m not getting a stepladder. Knees.”

I opened my mouth, about ready to offer to sweep her off her feet, when Murphy’s baton pressed against my shoulder, urging me down. I knelt, complete with a twirly flourish of my arms. “My hero!” I breathed, clasping my hands in front of me. “Oh Sir Knight, how _brave_ thou a-- ”

Murphy shut me up with her mouth. The manacles clattered to the floor.


End file.
